“Someday we will fall in love again in a place without sadness and this time round I will hold you tight and never let you go”
Been listening to everyone’s problem regarding their relationship… So I have been wondering to myself “is it a good thing that I’m not involve with someone romantically or a bad thing” Well, so what if it’s a good thing that I don’t have to worry about quarrels, I don’t have to feel any jealousy or insecurity? I’m still so affected over someone.
I’m tired of pretending to be happy.
I’m tired of waiting for the new day to come.
I’m tired of my face.
I’m tired of my body.
I’m tired of being unhealthy.
I’m tired of being imperfect.
I’m tired of my efforts going unnoticed and unappreciated.
I’m tired of having insomnia, just missing you so badly.
As the year is coming to an end, there’s so many things I wish I could redo this year. First of all, I wish for a new start, new beginning for 2015. This is a year filled with alcohols and heartache and I wish I could leave all these behind me even tho it really still affects me a lot.
To me, what happened in the past few months were like so messy. It’s like hurricane Brendan just came into my life. That’s how Hurricanes were named after people, for messing with your life and turning it upside down.
Midway through December, a month to my 21st celebration. Totally got no idea what’s going on at this moment. All I know is that I’m working almost everyday, to keep myself busy so that all these thoughts will never jump into my mind.
Continue reading I Finally Get It Why Hurricanes Were Named After People.
I’m lost of words, I’m tired of writing something which I will never get across you. Do you remember what we once promised each other- to never contact each other again, to treat each other like complete stranger after we split? I’m sorry but I can never treat you as a stranger because you will and can never be a stranger to me… To me, you are completely dead. So every single day I’m asking myself again and again what’s the point of remembering someone that’s dead?
H2ht with the girls last night and randomly they brought up the topic regarding you and me. They know all these affected me a lot but they are the ones that got more agitated than me for the way you treated me. I’m so lost of words when I think back of whatever that happened between us and I’m amazed with the kind of life I lived for 10 months.
Though some day I miss you and some day I still wish you were in my life but I never hope we will get back together. I don’t want to lose my pride, my ego and dignity all over again to you. If you ever miss me, don’t you ever dare to forget your feelings faded on me.
“Will you ever give me your blessing when I found someone after we split?”
“I will only give you my blessing on the day you are walking down the aisle of happiness even if it’s not with me.”
Started my 21st birthday planning and contemplating if I should invite you because of the promise I once made to you- to invite you to every big event of my life which include of 21st, my wedding and etc. Yes I’m doing it because I’m not like you who broke all the shit promises you made to me, all the shit empty words you said and pretending to me an angel while I was the bad person the whole time.
I don’t expect myself to crumble again when I see anything that’s related to you, I don’t expect things to still hit me after so long and I never expect everything seems like a lie. Hey, I was your bestfriend remember? Why do you bear to break me and destroy me?
“… I love you but I will not be here anymore”
It’s been exactly 6months ever since you left me… None of these days had been easy for me but I’m coping well, I’m trying my best to move on with my own life. Knowing that you will never come back into my life again hurts but throughout the journey, I’ve learned many things as well. drinking almost every single day ever since you left, and it seems like my favourite past time now whereby it used to be drinking only during the weekends. I know myself the best that I can never drink enough to forget you but how about at that moment? I don’t like to drink but it reminds me of you as well as your alcohol-stained breathe.
S A C H 