Helo FF Secured!

Moving On.

Moving on is not like a birthday, you can’t count down the hours till it arrives and you can’t mark it on a calendar and you can’t call up your friends to help you celebrate. You can’t plan for it and you can’t conclude it by blowing out a candle.

When moving on happens there will be no announcements, no notifications, no congratulations. There will be no parade; only you will know.

Moving on is like this: one day you forget the taste. The next, you forget the smell. Then the touch. Then the laugh. Then the smile. The the jokes. Then the eyes, the hair, the hands, the feet. You forget the socks. you forget the fingers, the toes, the sex. You forget the pulses, the beats, the rhythms and how you sometimes felt like they all belonged to you.

You forget the words; finally, you forget the voice that spoke them.

If There’s A Different Universe.

So you left me because I loved you too much? You won’t speak to me because the most poisonous thing that came off my skin was care? I loved you. I loved each and every part of you. I’m sorry I loved too much. I’m sorry I cared too much. I’m just plainly sorry for all the fucked up things I did.

But you know what I am the most sorry about? You know what makes me feel the worst? 

How I love you just the same. It hurts thinking about you and looking back on what we had, it’s hell. But every day is going to get a little bit easier, at least that’s what I’m telling myself. And if that’s what it takes for me to slowly get over this I swear I will. Because I shouldn’t ever have to apologize for loving so much.

I’m Not Fine.

I will never forget you when I feel like our story is over, when we’re running out of pages, but for now, we still have a lot of pages to fill, for now our story is being rewritten.

You and I were never meant to be easy.

When you love someone, you hope that a fraction of this love you feel toward them is returned to you. You long with every ounce of your being that this person loves you. You get angry st yourself for imagining impossible scenarios that you know will never come true. Yet if you lower your guard, you know your heart will take you to that place and time where he will look into your eyes, admit his foolishness, and ask you to let him in.

Pain is Inevitable.

“It is never too late to walk away from a man if you are unhappy, and hurting.”

I fell in love with you like a fool. Like the effervescent, naive fool that I am. And I did not care to believe in the truth; that I wasn’t good enough to be loved just the same.

Maybe we weren’t worth the effort. Maybe I wasn’t worth the fight, but you were to me. At least my aching heart had the courage to fight. But maybe our love was destined to end. Maybe you’re meant to be this stranger with all my secrets. I remember constantly worrying that you’d end up leaving me and that everything we shared would become nothing but a distant memory. I remember the day all of that came true.

I’d Still Choose You Even If You Don’t.

I used to be the girl you’d call when you wanted to go on an adventure and I’d go anywhere with you. I used to be the girl who could finish your sentences and think of the words when you couldn’t. I used to be the girl who was constantly on your mind, dawn till dusk and then dusk till dawn. I used to be the girl who would leave you wide-awake all night talking and thinking. I used to be the girl who was your everything, before I became the girl who was your nothing.

I stopped being the first girl you wanted to talk to in the morning. I stopped being the one you couldn’t wait to see after work. I stopped being the one you’d take out to dinner. I stopped being the one you wanted to spend your time with.

Officially Graduated.

Having to spend 3.5 years in Ngee Ann, today I officially graduated! Though I started work like months ago but it’s an official ending in Ngee Ann!

Gonna miss all the crazy lessons time with my floaters… Thank you for giving the best, treating me like a princess all the times just because I’m the only girl in the group. Thank you for helping me with notes whenever I decided that smoking corner or being drunk is way more interesting than lessons. Thank you for buying food for me and placing it on my table so my gastric won’t act up if I go hungry… Thank you for cock blocking all the times.

Eighth.

“I will always want the best for you… Even if it’s not me.”

Another chapter of 2k15 and so fast it’s already August. Another month plus I will be flying~~

For the past three years, August had been revolving around someone special but this year gonna be so different from the past.

For some people they had been saying this year, I’m saving way a lot of money and efforts for someone who doesn’t even give a damn about me.